Again almost a year has passed since my last post and I smile when I read it. So I found myself – Finally sorted out my inner chaos and started to love and accept myself and guess what happened? I found another person who loved and accepted me for who I am and he proposed and we got married. I got married under a lemon tree in Los Angeles and a few months later we had a bigger wedding with family and friends in Finland. We went backpacking through Europe on our honeymoon and now we have a beautiful home in Los Angeles. I got my happy ending. It was the ending of the lost confused child in me and for the first time I feel whole. I feel like myself. Is my life all rainbows and unicorns now? Did you find your prince and live happily ever after? Yes and no. Fairy tales never tell you want happens after you conquered the obstacles that kept you from your soulmate and you finally can be together. Do you want to know what happens? You start fighting about dishes. And other daily tasks. And it is okay. Good and bad times comes and goes like waves so one needs to learn how to surf and I think I’m doing a great job. I’m very grateful and happy with my life, my family, friends, music, husband and puppy. The world is going more and more bananas but there’s so much light in it, don’t forget that.
Off topic yesterday I released my new music video and I’ll post it here after this one. Have a wonderful day! Love Bella
Lately I’ve felt distressed, I thought it was because I’ve been working day and night since 2 of September. Now it has started to slow down and I have time to relax, but still I feel weird. Since September I’ve got a new apartment, new roomie (the best roomie one could wish for! I feel blessed), new family conditions, two new jobs, two sets of new colleagues, a lots of new friends and I talk to wonderful people everyday. So what’s wrong? I think I need to settle in. I’ve learnt to love changes because they are the only thing that’s constant, still I notice that they affect me. I’m not sad nor unhappy, actually I’m overwhelmed of appreciation and I’m proud of myself but still, distressed. I miss something. I miss home. I miss my sister. I miss my parents. I miss my friends, I miss my cats. I miss my car. I miss my hometown. And all this is wonderful, I’m so grateful that I have things to miss, people to come home to, a place to call home, a place that always have and always will embrace me with love. Still, I feel distressed. I need to rest. It hit me, I need someone to rest my soul in. Someone who knows me, someone who understands me, someone who loves all the things with me that I don’t like that much myself, someone who says the right things, someone where the energy flow is even, someone I can spoil with unconditional love, someone who spoils me with unconditional love, someone I can trust and who trust me. Someone who I share thousands and thousands of laughs with, someone I can sit in silence with, someone who sees me for the person I am, someone who understands that I’m a big paradox, someone who are proud of me and got my back, someone I feel safe with, someone my soul feel safe in. I strongly doubt I’m the only one. Maybe I should open a “soul spa”, no idea how it would work though. But that exactly how I feel right now, in this moment, a need for a spa day for my soul. Anyone who would join me?
Hey guys! I left to New York to attend a bartender course ’till the end of June. I won’t have time to post anything of worth this month but to those who’s interested in following my adventure here will find at least one picture every other day. We’re 11 persons living in the same apartment… This will be fun! School starts tmmr!
Under the surface I think that 98% of us have some worries or sadness. Under the surface I believe that 99% are dying for somebody to love them as they are. Under the surface 100% need YOU. Need you to be kind, need your acceptance, need your comfort, need your understanding, need your smile, need your time, need your respect. Don’t ever let yourself be fooled by the smile on somebody’s face, never be fooled by the ’perfect’ life they have, don’t be fooled by their beauty, don’t be fooled by their strength, never be fooled by their money, never be fooled by their attitude. 100% need you, be there. Be the smile that changes a strangers day, be the kind word that makes your fellowman’s struggle bearable, be the humble gaze that helps your next to feel less lonely. I need You. You need me. Let’s make life as magical it could and should be.
I found this list on my computer and sadly I have no idea who the creator is or wherefrom I’ve downloaded it and saved it. Anyhow it’s perfect. I love the internet you find so many like-minded, often I find things so on point of what I’m thinking it makes me feel unnecessary and repetitive in my own writing. I hope you can take these 4 statements below under reflection and adapt them to your reality. Have a wonderful start at the week!